Becoming a Family

Adjusting to being a family puts extra strain on the relationship between parents. You’re both learning to cope with your new roles, and having less time with each other as a couple, as well as the stress of dealing with baby’s demands. When tension builds and you disagree on what to do, attack the problem, not each other.

Spending time together as a couple is important to maintain a balance.

Young father playing with his daughter inside with toys

The first fifteen minutes together in the evening when your partner comes home from work are usually the most stressful. You’ve had a long day with the baby and want some time out and your partner’s had a long day at work and wants some time out as well. You can’t both get your wish. If baby is crying and distressed, then focus on settling the baby first, then try to take some time out for yourselves later.

In the early weeks, try not to get totally swamped by baby and their needs at the expense of the relationship with your partner. Spending time together as a couple is important to maintain a balance. It can be as little as 5–10 minutes each evening, listening and talking about each other’s day. Avoid becoming isolated by planning some enjoyable time together, either as a couple or with family or friends.

Young father playing with his daughter inside with toys
Young father playing with his daughter inside with toys

The first three years of life are a period of incredible growth in all areas of a baby’s development. Their early experiences are important in shaping who they are, so positive family relationships are critical. You need to create a consistent nurturing environment that provides safe, reassuring caregiving to enable them to develop to their full potential.

References (brain development)

Zero to Three: Brain Development. Washington: National Center for Infants, Toddlers and Families; 2014 [accessed 2014 Dec]. Available from https://www.zerotothree.org/resource/nurturing-brain-development-from-birth-to-three/

Mustard, JF. Early child development and the brain – the base for health, learning, and behavior throughout life. In: Young, ME (ed). From early child development to human development. Washington: The World Bank; 2002. p 23–61.

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